When I was a little girl I was taught that it was impolite to talk about religion, politics or money when in company e.g. when friends or family were over for dinner. Sadly, my family rarely spoke about these things anyway because my mother was very timid and could not handle healthy debate about anything. This coloured the way I approached my interaction with the world, rarely giving an opinion on anything when I was at school. When I reached university I found tutorials to be excruciating because I was expected to share my view on a range of topics and the ability to share my view was something that I was going to assessed on. I also used to blush bright red every time someone spoke to me causing me to avoid direct conversations when I was in a group setting.

So over the years I had to learn to become more open and share my view and become more resilient. However, I do not enjoy being yelled at nor do I enjoy abuse from others just because my opinion may be different to theirs. These reactions will shut me down and stop the discussion. And this is what I would like to write about now – the need for respect of others and their opinions if we want to encourage healthy discussion and debate in our families and our society about the future!

In this digital age where we are exposed to constant news commentary on so many TV stations, social media and of course from the radio shock jocks. We are constantly bombarded with the opinions of others. My grandparents would turn in their graves if they could see how people speak to each other online. They would be appalled at how rude people are to total strangers, just because of a differing view. Would the ‘brave’ people on social media be so rude to their targets if they met them in person? Why do people feel that they can be so insulting to politicians and other people in authority? I find it particularly puzzling when Christians insult their political leaders and others in authority when the Bible is clear that our leaders are appointed by God and that we are to regularly pray for them. (Romans 13:1 – Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. NIV). We may not agree with all political statements and decisions but is there really a need to be insulting?

Why is it important to respect others and their opinions? Because if we do not allow the voice of everyone to be heard we stop healthy discussion, we potentially impede the creativity of our children and worst of all we will divide families and nations. Isn’t this what happens in countries where dictators control communication? Of course it is, and yet we see it every day in our country.

What are the hot issues that cause so much debate and opinion sharing? Of course at a global level there is climate change, border protection and terrorist threats as well as disagreement between religions. At another level there is the debate about schooling i.e. public or private, marriage equality etc. These are all potentially divisive topics that are debated daily on social media, but in my opinion, not in a helpful way. When you see posts about the stupidity of individual politicians and statements that insult anyone with a particular opinion on one of these topics you cannot help but feel the personal insult yourself if you are actually supportive of the ‘other side’.

I find this particularly difficult to cope with when the topic being debated is something in which I am well versed. For example, the topic of private school funding often pops up on Facebook and every man and his dog jumps on board with well rehearsed opinions that are clearly not based on fact. This is an area that I can talk about with authority, having been on a school board for 10 years. But in fact, if you try to share some facts or truth about this matter be ready to cop abuse, vitriol and a whole pack of lies online!!! I have learned my lesson and even though I like helping people to understand the facts, these people do not want to hear my version of the story and will do what ever they can to shut me down, because my viewpoint does not reflect the popular and current narrative!!

I have recently seen two approaches to dealing with this problem of differing opinions and would like to share my view on these approaches.

One approach taken by a friend (Friend 1) is to ‘unfriend’ anyone who does not agree with him about his view of the world at the moment.

The other approach taken by another friend (Friend 2) was to write about how much he misses a friend who passed away a few years ago. These two friends held very different outlooks on life, politics etc. and yet they valued this difference and enjoyed the exchange of viewpoints. Friend 2 is missing the different perspective and is seeking others to fill this void.

Both of the Facebook ‘friends’ I refer to above are people that I respect and like but I am feeling sad about the dismissive view of Friend 1. I do not hold all the same views as he does and so by suggesting that he would unfriend me I am feeling disappointed and abused because he has no capacity to respect my opinion or acknowledge my right to even have an opinion.

So what is the answer? There are quite a few options but here are just a few:

• Delete your social media accounts and unfriend lots of people so you become isolated in your view point and only listen to people who agree with you.
• Stop watching TV and listening to radio and once again isolate yourself.

Or

• Promote the notion that respect for others is an important part of life if we wish to raise our children in a way that values the differing opinions of others and encourages healthy debate.
• Encourage sharing of ideas to promote discussion, creative processes and research.

Of course there may be the need to walk away from those who won’t listen but it is never helpful to insult them in the same way they insulted you.

So lets encourage others to respectfully ‘hear’ and ‘respond’  and work together for the future!

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Until next time,

 

 

Gillian (and Andrew)