About a year ago I posted an article about the importance of friendship. In that post I laid out the difficulties of making and keeping friends and the importance of trying. The quote below really stuck with me because I have been in a position of loneliness for a number of years.
Always have a willing hand to help someone, you might be the only one that does. Roy T. Bennett
But that has all changed now for me. I am in a new house in a new State and doing things in life that I have not done for years including making new friends. So I thought I would share with you what I think it takes to make new friends.
Over the past year my life has been turned upside down – but in a good way. We sold our house and headed instate on an adventure to find a new home. We were homeless for 3 months and then moved into a large property in a country town. So for 61 years I lived in a big city and now I am a country girl!
So how did that help with making friends? Quite simply, we cut ties with our past life (except for our families of course) and we had to start afresh. When this happens you either stay at home and be lonely or you get out there and you make and effort.
Here are a few tips that have helped us to meet people and turn acquaintances into friends.
- Be friendly and say hello to people. This might seem too simple but I think that this is something that has been lost from city living. Country people are much more friendly than city folk and will always say hi as they walk past. The simple greeting with a smile can make all the difference in your day.
- Take the next step and show interest in others. We are so busy with our own lives that we tell ourselves that we don’t have time to be interested in the lives of others. And that might work for you for a while – until you find yourself alone and wishing that people would talk to you. So when someone asks you something about yourself answer them and show interest in them too. I have been doing that in our new town and have been making friends out and about. Some slower relationships than others – after all we should still be cautious about our safety but it is nice to be able to recognise people when we are out about town so we feel like we belong!!!
- Join in. Volunteer or join a social group. ‘That’s a bit scary’ I hear you say. Not at all. It is in those moments when we are new at something that we are most in need of a friend and more likely to ask for help and listen to what others are saying. I joined a choir, I swim regularly in the local pool and I started an aquarobics class. All ways to meet people and feel like I belong.
- Accept an invitation to visit someone or invite them to your home or to a cafe for a catch up. Take time to show you are interested.
- Host a neighbourhood party. We did this at Christmas and everyone had so much fun. Most of the neighbours didn’t know each other. We became the connection for them. Who would have thought that the new kids on the block could do that?
But you don’t have to move house to make a change in your life. Just know that there are others out there who are looking for a friend. Reach out and say hi, take a chance. You will be knocked back at times or you may meet people that you just don’t like, but don’t let that stop you from being a friend yourself!
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Until next time,
Gillian (and Andrew)
