Don’t you just hate being asked that question? I certainly do, mainly because I think the day is a commercial nonsense that we should just ignore. The other reason is because it encourages families to spoil mum on that one day and take her for granted every other day of the year. Sound a bit harsh? Well, I think its true. Mums have be the rock, the broad shoulders, the fixer etc. for their children for years and it is so easy for those children when they grow up to keep expecting this ‘service’ without questioning their own responsibilities or thinking about mum’s real needs.
So what would I say if you actually did ask me what I wanted?
I would say that I would like some flowers please. But I would also like to be treated as a normal person with normal vulnerabilities and needs who would like to be looked after once in a while rather than taken for granted. Don’t get me wrong I hate a fuss being made over me and have always put myself last when it comes to my children but I wonder sometimes what I have created. For example, I had a birthday a few weeks ago and had a wonderful night out with Andrew and our daughter. She bought me a gift as did Andrew. But there was no cake, and no gift or card from the others. I have never ever failed to buy a gift and a card for their birthdays and always plan ahead for a dinner or night out.
So why is it that I am not worthy of such thought? It’s because I’m mum, the rock, the broad shoulders who won’t mind – not a real person.
It is what it is, and I am totally to blame for this situation, but thought you might like some tips for your household so that you might succeed where I failed.
Make a fuss about your own birthday and other celebrations. Don’t make it all about them. You are important too.
Show your vulnerabilities from time to time so that they learn how to take care of you too e.g. cry sometimes so they can see it rather than hide away when you are feeling down or sad.
Be honest about your own needs and take time out for yourself rather than soldiering on.
Show them that we all need to rest and be taken care of.
And if that all fails, keep loving them unconditionally and hope that one day they will wake up to themselves when they become parents.
Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day!
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Until next time,
Gillian (and Andrew)
