I started writing about raising twins a few months ago and was overwhelmed with memories – many great ones but also some that took me back to a dark place. Why? Well lets be honest, those first few months of looking after a new baby or babies is not all roses and sunshine!!! Lack of sleep, trying to get the feeding right, keeping up with the washing, playing with the older kids and trying to cook dinner on time are all those things that can become a nightmare to juggle.

For me one of the most stressful things was getting the feeding right. It may have been 28 years ago, but I can remember my feeding struggles as though it was yesterday. I would like to share some of those struggles now to encourage anyone who might be going through all this stress right now!!

The early days

I was obsessed with breastfeeding because there are so many benefits: convenience, cost, hygiene, immunity for the babies etc. But I acknowledge that it is not for everyone. Not everyone can breastfeed and those early days can be so difficult to navigate. I certainly understand that there are very real reasons why breastfeeding is not possible. The main thing is that your babies are healthy and growing and that you look after yourself.

However, knowing how beneficial breastfeeding is for your child can help to decide to stick with it, even if you find that the process is not easy. Like lots of things in life, success with breastfeeding can be as much about attitude as it is about lots of fluids and good nutrition for the mother. If there is no physical reason why you can’t feed e.g. tiny or premature babies or a problem with sucking etc.,  and you take a ‘can do’ attitude, the initial issues will hopefully seem inconsequential! If you struggle with breastfeeding, try setting short term goals such as wanting to feed for the first 2 weeks or the first month and as you reach that goal reflect back on the experience and whether or not it has become easier with time. Then make a decision to go on or stop. Be proud of your efforts and do what is right for you and your baby.

If you are getting mixed advice, find one wise voice in the crowd and listen to that person, ignore all the others!!! There are also breastfeeding associations out there who are ready to help with education and support. They can help you with the physical and emotional ups and downs.

My struggles

I know that lots of people find breastfeeding easy and their babies just take to it naturally. This was not me! I had little babies who struggled to feed, but I had lots of milk so in those early weeks we had to be creative with methods to get them feeding properly. One of my babies gave the appearance of feeding but after about 5 days we realised that he was not feeding properly and was actually getting quite weak. So I had to express milk and he was fed with a bottle for a while. We then progressed to a mix of breast and bottle feeding. All the effort paid off and after 11 weeks he was fine and I continued to breastfeed him for months.

I know that many people would have given up after a few days or weeks of this breast/bottle feeding but I guess I was stubborn and there was no way I was going to wean that baby. Fortunately, the other twin was a great feeder so the milk kept coming and we ended up twin feeding successfully for a long time.

Practicalities of Twin Feeding

The other reason why I resisted bottle feeding my babies was that I wanted to feed them at the same time and this would not have been possible if I was breastfeeding one and bottle feeding the other.

To be efficient and comfortable when twin feeding I believe you need a set up where you feel relaxed and where you can access change tables and cots etc. without leaving the room. This is because you will have two babies to change, settle and handle as you get ready to feed, and to be safe you need to be in close proximity to them at all times. We purchased a 3 seater lounge and at each end we placed a V shaped pillow. As we readied the babies for feeding they were each placed on a pillow while I sat down in the middle of the lounge with another V shaped pillow. I then picked up each baby and brought them over to my pillow. They lay on the sides of the pillow while they fed. I usually draped a clean cloth nappy over the pillows to protect them. This system worked very well for the whole time I fed the babies. Feeding when I went out was very difficult and hardly ever happened in the fist 6 months, i.e. I always came home for the feeds.

Regardless of how you feed your babies, take all the help you can get and keep your energy levels up – whether you are breast or bottle feeding, your presence in their lives is important and you need to keep up your strength!

Moving onto Solids

My twins showed an interest in eating solid food at around 5 months. Of course in the early days of adding solids to the diet, the baby or babies still need a great deal of milk so the possibility of weaning them off a feed may still seem dim and distant. But by 6 months I needed to give up a feed, for two reasons: I needed to be able to go out for the day without having to twin feed ( this was for my own sanity!) and I was exhausted. Producing enough milk for two babies of 6 months old was taking its toll on my body and I needed a bit of respite. The clinic sister told me that I had to bottle feed them with formula. I flatly refused to do this because that was work that I could do without – washing and sterilising bottles was not my idea of fun!! So I introduced my twins to home made custard and home made yogurt and together with stewed fruit and gel, I created a nourishing and satisfying meal for them to replace the lunchtime feed. The gel provided a little extra liquid and the custard and yoghurt provided the milk – only it was in solid form. They were like two little birds in a nest calling for their mother to bring home the food. I fed them from the same bowl, the spoon going from one to the other and if I missed a beat they would tell me loud and clear.

Of course they then started eating at dinner time too, starting with fruit and then vegetables. My mother was always horrified that I did not puree the food because she was terrified that they would choke on lumps. I reasoned that if you make the food too smooth from the start, the baby will get used to it and it will be harder to transition to ‘real food’ later. My approach paid off. I mashed or chopped up their food and within months they were eating what we were eating. They enjoyed a wide variety of casseroles etc. I also tried to feed them what ever vegetable was in season and so they developed a taste for a wide range of vegetables. Their particular favorite was avocado. They would polish off an avocado in minutes!!

The Fear of Green

Of course the willingness to eat all those vegetables disappeared sometime between the age of 2 and 3. I maintain that the ‘fear of green’ sneaks in for all children at that age and it is our job as parents to help them overcome that fear. We had bouncy peas and broccoli trees that would cry if not eaten and we learned how to hide vegetables in cheese toasties. However I think the best approach to this new found ‘fear of green’ is to treat it as a phase not a permanent fixture i.e. don’t panic and don’t force green veggies onto them. My boys would each eat different vegetables and my approach was to let them have the vegetables that they loved and avoid the unnecessary argument about all those veggies that they hated. I still have horrible memories of being forced to sit at the table until all the carrots were eaten. I still hate cooked carrots and I now tend to eat the carrot raw as I am preparing dinner. My carrot is eaten before dinner, everyone eats theirs at the table!

Why not compromise on these things – we have enough battles each day as they grow up and there are other battles that are way more important in my view.

Final Words

If you have small twins these next words will not mean a lot to you now but try to keep them in mind. When your twins reach puberty and start to grow rapidly towards adulthood you may have to double your shopping each week. I had two hungry boys who, from the age of about 14 until they left home in their mid twenties, would eat us out of house and home each week. I was constantly being told that there was no food in the fridge!!!

So here are my tips for filling them up:

• Extra vegetables on the dinner plate ( they won’t notice what you add to the plate because they will be ‘starving’ at every meal
• Porridge
• Healthy cereal
• Fruit
• Milk
• Wholemeal Bread

You may wish to start saving up your pennies now!! I started shopping at ALDI and that helped.

What Next?

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Until next time,

Gillian (and Andrew)