Given that our name is ‘Helpful by Nature’ we thought it was time to share some ideas and hints about being helpful to others. Being forthright and pushy is not the way to go. I learned that over the years in my various jobs. You might change someone’s situations for a while by bullying them into change but in the long run it is the person themselves who has to be ready to be helped and to change.
So here are a few hints on helping people to help themselves!
I always find that the best approach is one of the ‘coach’ rather than the ‘teacher’ or ‘mentor’. A good coach helps others to set and achieve goals and supports the person to find the best ways or paths to reach those goals. The biggest trap we can fall into when trying to help someone is to take the problem from them and solve it for them.
If we do this the problem will return time and time again and the change or improvement to their situation will never be complete.
Here is what I try to do:
- Be a coach – listen, observe and guide but don’t push insist or take over.
- Ask questions to help clarify problems or stumbling blocks – just don’t answer those questions yourself.
- Provide resources, tools and support as required.
- Make myself available to help if asked
- Be a good role model i.e. lead by example don’t just talk!
- Be patient – once we lose patience we can start taking over
- Have an open mind- my solution to a problem is not the only one
How does our blog help people?
Our posts:
- provide some solutions to household and family issues that have been tried and tested e.g. we write posts about family management, balancing the challenges of the family and relationships etc.
For example: Are you languishing or laughing in lockdown?
- let people know that my way is not necessarily right for them but we outline ways to approach problem solving that may be helpful for others, e.g. we have written about goal setting, taking on new ideas to solve problems and motivation in difficult times.
For example: Goal Setting for a Great 2022!
- encourage people to try new ways of living e.g. healthier households, home made products, cooking with oils etc.
For example: House Cleaning the Safer Way: Get that kitchen sparkling!
- demonstrate new ways to do things e.g. I choose old recipes and update them, adapt them to make them easier to cook, tastier to eat etc.
For example: Cooking with Oils: Mini Apple Crumbles
What if I only help a few people?
In a previous post I mentioned that I loved this quote by Andrew Carnegie
‘There is no use whatever trying to help people who do not help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he is willing to climb himself.’
Although I totally agree with this quote I will not be discouraged by it. Why? Because I will continue to share my ideas and hints etc. and even if I help just one person to achieve a new goal and move through change I know that I have demonstrated to one more person the power of being ‘helpful by nature’!!!
Please read and share our posts to help us celebrate our 3rd Birthday this January (2022).
We hope you will join us at Helpful by Nature by subscribing to our email list. We would love to hear from you, take your questions and provide answers if we are able.
Until next time,
Gillian (and Andrew)
