The knowledge that you are carrying twins can be quite overwhelming. We were fortunate in that we had one child already so we not going to be first time parents as well as first time parents of twins!!!

But of course that meant that our family was expanding from 3 to 5 people in one short burst. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I like to be organised and in control and so once we found out we were expecting two babies we set about preparing as best as we could!

This post is about taking a strategic approach to taking care of twins – as babies and toddlers. This is our story- we hope it is helpful for you!

The great thing about having twins as a second pregnancy was that we had some of the gear we would need i.e. one cot, one high chair, lots of clothes etc. We of course needed to buy a twin pram and an extra cot and chair but at least we had a few things to get us started. Another great thing about having twins is that people seem to get more excited than normal and give you lots of gifts that are very much appreciated!

But having stuff was not going to be enough to get us ready.

The approach we took to survive the first 12 months is outlined below. You will note that for practical reasons the babies were very much ‘herded’ or managed as ‘one’ during this time. We of course spent time with them individually but for the purpose of getting through each day and maintaining our sanity a certain amount of toughness and discipline had to be applied to the day to day routines.

1. The Bedroom Setup

We needed a floor plan for the babies room, the right furniture and a set up that allows for efficient processing i.e. nappy changing and feeding. We placed the furniture around the edges of the room so we had space in the middle for bathing, walking up and down etc. Our babies were born in winter so we had both a heater and a humidifier running almost non-stop for the first few months for the comfort of everyone.

We had two cots set up against two walls of the bedroom. In one corner we had a change table that doubled as a chest of drawers – we had all the necessary clothes at hand for the multiple changes required each day. There was also a bath inside the change table and this could easily be taken out and placed on the floor of the bedroom.

Against the third wall we had a three-seater lounge and at each end we placed a V shaped pillow. As we readied the babies for feeding they were each placed on a pillow while I sat down in the middle of the lounge with another V shaped pillow. I then picked up each baby and brought them over to my pillow. They lay on the sides of the pillow while they fed. I usually draped a clean cloth nappy over the pillows to protect them. This system worked very well for the whole time I fed the babies.

I have to say that I became quite bored while sitting feeding, particularly in the early days when feeds took a long time. We bought a small TV and I had it on a small table next to the lounge. It helped pass the hours of feeding in those early days. My point is that you will practically live in one room when you are feeding young twins so do what you need to do to make the situation comfortable for you and your babies!

2. The feeding regimen 

We worked, from day 1, towards a way to ensure that feeding happened in ‘unison’. This is so important to minimise loss of sleep. Of course the doom and gloom people out there delighted in telling us that we would have no sleep at all for months – but that didn’t suit me. I’m not sure what the current theories are about waking babies and feeding regimens but this is what we did:

• If one baby woke for a feed we made sure that his brother also woke. Removal of a dummy from the baby’s mouth, gentle loosening of the wrappings around the baby, turning up the light, making gentle noise are all simple strategies to do this. By the time each baby was changed they were both awake enough to feed.
• Conversely, we didn’t want them to think that being awake was good during the night so after the first awakening we dimmed the light again spoke little to each other or them and made the night time feed quite ‘business-like’.
• In the early days if it looked like we would have to be up at around midnight to feed them, we would attempt to wake them earlier so that we could all go to bed and sleep through to a reasonable morning hour! This didn’t always work but it can be worth a try.
• Finally, we bathed our babies at night, just before the last feed of the night. This tired them out and tended to encourage a longer sleep. Once again, not always successful; however a strategy worth trying.

3. The washing challenge

The main challenge in the early days was the washing of the nappies. Of course these days this may not be a problem with the tendency to use disposable nappies. However, we all know that disposable nappies can leak and dirty the clothes!

After about a week of washing morning and night, we paid for a nappy service that removed the need for any nappy washing for two years! We also found that using real nappies resulted in less leakage.

The other trick was to use bibs on the babies. Yes we had to wash about 12 bibs a day but that reduced the washing of other clothes.

The only other trick is to make sure that you have lots and lots of jumpsuits etc. so that if you are having a bad day you can afford not to do the washing i.e. you won’t run out of clothes.

4. Cooking family meals

Cooking dinner is a challenge with just one baby in the house but with two it can be quite difficult.

Here are a few tips:

• Buy a slow cooker and prepare dinner in the morning, letting it cook all day.
• Keep some pre-prepared meals in the freezer for those really tricky days.
• Ask your family to feed you once or twice a week for the first few months.
• Keep your meals simple and quick to prepare.
• Don’t feel guilty if you end up having take away meals a few times a week. It won’t be like this forever!

I have written another post on feeding the babies, including the transition to solids. I hope that is useful for you too.

5. General Baby Management

This is the area for which I received a lot of criticism – mainly from women who gave birth to one child at a time. We wanted our house to operate with some kind of discipline and normality – not just for us but for our daughter. After all she needed time with her parents and she also needed her own life. She started school just after the twins were born and with school came swimming lessons, dance lessons etc. all of which I had to manage whilst caring for two babies.

So we used the following approaches to ensure that there was some consistency in our household for everyone:

• Our babies always slept in their own cots i.e. we never swapped them around.
• They had their own dedicated high chairs, places in the pram and seats in the car.
• As mentioned above, they always ate at the same time, transitioned to solids at the same time and ate the same food.
• They always played and slept at the same time.
• They always stayed in the pram when we were out at the shops or at swimming, school events or just out walking. We strapped them in so they could not get out!
• I would not take them to the park unless I had someone to help me.
• When they started to move around I covered the bookcase with material, put the phone and TV up high and used gates to prevent them from entering certain rooms in the house.

and

• We made sure that our daughter had a space to play in and do her homework in without being invaded by babies.

Why was this controversial for some people? Because it appeared that I was too controlling. In reality I was just trying to create some order.

My message here – do what it takes for you to create order, normality, peace or whatever you need to function effectively as a parent of twins!

And finally, don’t be a hero. Ask for help and accept help when it is offered. You need your sleep and you need time for yourself and the other important people in your life!

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Until next time,

 

 

Gillian (and Andrew)