How many of us share a birthday with someone else in the family? Although I do know a few families where parent and child share the same birthday, its actually pretty rare isn’t it? We usually have an opportunity to be ‘ king or queen’ for a day each year and enjoy presents and a party.

But what about twins – when does it become an issue i.e. at what age will your twins want to assert their individuality at birthday time? What can we as parents of twins do to make sure that each child enjoys a happy birthday? I can’t answer the first question for everyone but can give some suggestions for dealing with answering the second question – and I can share our story…..

Birthday Parties for Twins – separate or together?

We did not organise birthday parties for our twins until they started preschool. The first big party involved a jumping castle. Sadly it rained a lot so there wasn’t much jumping, but we still had fun!

In kindergarten we invited the whole class to the party. The boys had not formed strong friendships at that stage and so we decided to be inclusive. By their second year at school they had some friends in common and some different friends. As they grew the themes changed i.e. we went bowling, had a medieval theme, movie nights, parties in the park etc. For many years we had combined parties but always made sure that each boy had the same number of guests invited and that the party theme and/or activities were suitable for both of them.

The only time we organised completely separate parties was in primary school when they wanted to have sleep over parties. We decided that we needed to keep the numbers down so organised parties on consecutive Friday evenings. The parties were similar, although for these parties the boys were able to stamp their personalities a little more firmly on the party by choosing food, games and movies.

Once our twins reached high school their desire for birthday parties seemed to disappear and neither of them wanted a party again until they turned 21. I was determined to give them separate parties if they wanted them. But they refused that offer and insisted that there be just one party.

Regardless of whether we had a combined or separate celebration there were two cakes with a set of candles for each boy, individual presents, themes to suit the needs of both boys and guests for each boy, and of course we sang happy birthday separately for each boy!

What can you do to make each twin feel special on their birthday?

Ask your twins how they would like to celebrate their birthdays and discuss the possibilities, the themes, the food requests etc. 

Plan the party or parties with the twins so that each of them is ‘heard’ and each of them can contribute.

Get the children involved in the preparation e.g. let them help make the cakes. 

Be prepared to make separate cakes and different types of food as requested. 

Be prepared to play different games for the different sets of friends during the party.

Make sure you have help so that you can give the same amount of attention to each child during the party. 

Sing happy birthday to each child separately

If necessary, organise two parties on different days! 

And finally, do not listen to other people who think you are crazy organising separate parties, cakes etc.

Twins have to endure a great deal of ‘togetherness’ as they grow up so I believe that they really do deserve to be spoiled a little on their birthdays!

What do you think?

What next?

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Until next time,

 

 

Gillian (and Andrew)